Someone sent me this years and years ago. It was typed, if that tells you it's been around for a while.

Here's what really happens when you show in your first dressage class…

A Real Dressage Test

Basic Level

A -   Enter extraordinary serpentine

X  -  Halt

G  -  Try again

C  -  Freeze in horror at Judge’s stand. Take opportunity to salute hurriedly.

C   - Track to left in counter flexed bolt.

E  -  Irregular polyhedron left, 20 meters, plus or minus 5 meters.

FXH -  Change rein unextended jig.

H   - Canter, or counter canter, or crosscanter.

M-F  -  Working out-of-hand gallop

C  -  Down center line, working trot bouncing

X  -   Pulley rein.  Halt.  Salute, exhale.

Leave arena in free walk, loose language under breath.